Friday, September 5, 2008
Not Passing Judgement On Oneself
Paul has nothing on his conscience but still does not judge himself. Rather he is confident in the Merciful Love of God and goes about his duties. In reality he is imitating our Blessed Mother and her quiet confidence. Being mindful of Christ or abandoning ourselves to him is not an intellectual decision nor a program of discipline. It is instead a matter of the heart. Yes, it involves our mind but most importantly it is our heart that acknowledges the truth of our life. I belong to Christ. I am His Beloved. He has chosen me. I have faults and failings. I have sins and temptations. I have habits and weaknesses. But He has chosen me. This is the truth if my life. I cannot deny it. He has chosen me in Love and in Mercy. Many would say it was a bad choice. I even agree judging by my many failings. But it was not my choice. It is His. Thus my soul rejoices and my heart exults in God my Savior. My struggles never leave me and why should they? But I do not face them alone even when I feel all alone. I am His Beloved and my Lover never leaves me. Jesus IS the lover of my soul. I AM His Beloved. That is my only identity. As His Beloved then I am blessed with gifts, many gifts, like family, friends, talents, work, vocation etcetera. But also with faith, hope, love, mercy, consolation, and the list goes on infinitum. I do not have to be afraid. I have only to live in His Love. The love of the Most Holy Trinity brings freedom to our souls. We are free to serve, free to love, free to struggle, free to suffer, free to be healed, free to fail and even to sin. Nothing can break the bond of love that binds the beloved to Jesus the lover of our souls. United to Him we can do all things. As Paul tells us, He knows the motives of our hearts and He has chosen to unite them to His Most Sacred Heart. The only response worth giving is that of our Blessed Mother "Behold the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done unto me according to your word." In imitating Mary then we can find peace, we can abandon our judgements like Paul did and embrace our identity as the Beloved of Christ.
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2 comments:
Father, may I share a beautiful dialogue between Jesus and a contemporary mystic that pairs so well with your thoughts today?
"Have you ever wondered which of all the things you experience causes me the greatest joy?"
"No," she said to Jesus.
He answered, "When, in lucid freedom, you say yes to God's calls." And then he continued, "Remember what it says in the Gospel, 'The truth will make you free.' You can only respond freely to the calls of grace when your own truth becomes clear, when you accept it humbly, and when, on that basis, you maintain a conversation with God, realizing that everything that has happened and will happen to you is part of a loving and providential project of your Father God.
"Yes, many things will cause you perplexity. They will even plunge you into intense darkness and, still more, into suffering that wounds and paralyzes you. But if you have recourse to your faith, it will be your shield. Doesn't God reveal himself as your Abba? Have not I, the Son, taken on your condition at it's most wretched? Doesn't the Paraclete defend you? Believe all this with heart and soul, and it will fill you with trust and confidence.
It is so hard to not pass judgement on oneself. As I read your reflection I realized how often I do this. As I reflect on being mindful of Christ, I realize that I do not have to be so critical, just live in His Love
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