Saul was very angry and resentful of the song, for he thought:
"They give David ten thousands, but only thousands to me.
All that remains for him is the kingship."
And from that day on, Saul was jealous of David.
Saul discussed his intention of killing David
with his son Jonathan and with all his servants
The jealousy of Saul in the first reading is understandable. After all David in a rather short time has become a young charismatic hero. Saul is certainly blessed, he is anointed by the Most High as king, but in the face of such great accolades that women in every city give David, it is understandable that he would feel jealous, resentful and angry. The commission of a sin very often hinges on what we do with our feelings or thoughts. So often people are compelled to certain acts based upon their feelings. We are not our feelings. We are not our thoughts. Yet so many people degrade themselves based upon the false notion or more clearly the lie that says we are our thoughts or our feelings. Many believe the lie that says since we have certain feelings or thoughts we must act upon them. The frequency of a certain thought or feeling is often the only consideration when deciding to act upon that feeling or thought. Reducing ourselves to our thoughts and feelings in this way has disastrous effects. Vice and addictions abound among those who live according to this lie. Slavery is the end result. Slavery that is often vigorously defended by those enslaved simply by repeating the same lie they have embraced.
A simple definition of prayer is lifting of ones heart and mind to God. Enslaved in the belief that we are our thoughts and feelings and thus compelled to act upon them, our souls do not reach out to the Living God, they collapse in upon themselves. Pride and Vanity are what drove Saul even to seeking approval from his son Jonathan and all his servants. Approval of his murderous thoughts and desires. He did not lift his heart or mind to the Living God. He sought the approval of men. Spending time in Adoration helps us lift our hearts and minds to God. In humble Adoration before our Lord our pride and vanity are tempered by Grace. We are not our thoughts. We are not our feelings. We are beloved sons and daughters of God. We are called to live accordingly.